One of my most annoying moment in my life happened in 2015.
It involves being approached by guy who doesn't know he is a born natural creep.
I guess I shall start from the beginning... how it all began.
For the sake of duty and fulfilling my responsibilities as a functional adult human being, I was cast away from my homeland and resides on foreign grounds to earn some gold.
I kinda found this place to stay which just happens to be about 1.1 km away from my office.
In case you're wondering about the blue area, that's the poop hot zone. If you want to grab the opportunity to step on dog shiet, that's where you would want to go.
Without sufficient gold to purchase a carriage, it's probably the best place that I could be staying.
The house lead is someone who is quite well-known in the church. Oh, house lead is the guy whom we pay our rental money to, by the way.
If there's any room vacant, he is the one who will be head-hunting the tenants. If there's any complaints or request for facility improvements, he's the one to go to. If there's an escaped zoo lion running loose in the house, he's the one that takes care of it.
Sometimes, the house lead organizes gatherings (cell group) with fellow church members in the living room.
It's a good social event. The perfect hostile environment engineered to pulverize any introverts that have not built up any advanced level of coping mechanism.
I figured that if I did join them, I will finally be a normal human being again because I will have more friends.
But ... nope. Awkwardness is too integrated into my genes.
One day, the house lead sent a message to the Whatsapp group to call for a game of basketball. The group is for the house tenants, so naturally I expected that only the house members will participate.
Wrooongggg!!!!
I was happy and living a peaceful life. My life was secure and stable and I was going to have the very first game of basketball with my housemates and all of a sudden, one by one, house lead's cell group members pops out from everywhere.
I was surrounded by ... I don't know ... 10, 20 or a hundred of them.
I've been set up.
The first thought that came to my mind ... the one and only thing ... is that I wanted to run away. But I sucked it up and went to the game anyway. I can't back out now.
I always imagined myself shooting the ball from half court and managed to score. Everyone would be looking at me with jaws wide open. And as I dribbled with the ball, I could move so smoothly as if I'm waltzing my way between them. It was nothing less than a graceful ballerina. Like what everyone thought is just a sport, I managed to make it looked like an elegant classy dance.
With that kind of mindset, I knew I was going to outperform everyone. I am a beast. I am the best.
I missed every shot I took.
And my stamina was nothing more than an thin slice of bacon that could be finished instantly in a single bite.
I was hyperventilating. Most of the time, I was standing there and trying to slap the ball away from other people's hands. It was sissy. Nothing close to elegant classy dance that I imagined to be.
I'd never felt so humiliated.
Finally, it's time to walk back to our respective home.
At long last, I get to go back to my room for a moment of peace and ... WAaaaaiiiiITTTT !!!
I was mentally prepared to chew on a piece of bland bread for my dinner, and this call shed its bright colorful light into my life. I could hear ... hope.
A small part of me thought of the awkwardness of eating with unfamiliar people but my hunger overwhelmed that thought completely.
We went to a local food court. And, my oh my ... more strangers appear one by one. We sat together and my housemates introduced them one at a time.
I put on a smile and said "hi" and "hello" alternately. It's a standard behavior in my meeting-new-faces protocol.
It is inevitable that we will definitely forget each other's name and faces. That's how destiny wills it. But, I'm just here for the food anyway.
Right at the end of the dinner, someone proposed a second round, desserts.
The house lead, being a keen guy, asked if anyone would like to go back home and skip the round two. This question was obviously directed at me since I'm the only stranger in the group and he knows how introverted I am.
I didn't respond. I felt like I would be spoiling everybody's mood if I did that. Even if I did respond, I would probably be the only one who's leaving and the house lead has to purposely drive me back to our home then come back out again for the dessert time.
I guess I could tolerate the awkwardness a little bit more.
We walked to some place near for dessert and I didn't even ordered anything. I just sat there looking at people, putting up a smile. It was miserable. What was I thinking? I should've just gone back.
I can't even pretend to be playing with my phone because I didn't bring it out!
Oh, c'mon!!
The take-out-your-phone-and-pretend-you're-doing-something-to-save-yourself-from-all-those-awkwardness technique that I had perfected my whole life...
I thought I wouldn't need it.
I thought we would just have our dinner and go back home straight.
I was naive.
The situation is as you can guess ...
A few minutes later, another of their member appeared. Let's just call him Mr. Wrinkles. Yup, he's the main antagonist in our little story here.
The house lead introduced us and we had a very short chat. Heck, he's not even introducing him with his real name, which I found out later. Where's the sincerity in that?
Despite the short chat with Mr. Wrinkles, that's the only moment when I felt less awkward because I am actually engaging in a live real human social interaction process of communication...
I am talking to someone like everyone is doing!
We sat for a long time ... I'm not sure ... it felt long probably because I had adrenaline pumped in my system throughout the entire hangout... for fight-or-flight response.
It was a true relief to me when we're finally going to go back home.
To be continued ...
CONVERSATION