I created this comic series because I wanted to show people how to care. It mostly involves doing the small things. They may be simple but not everyone could do it. It has to start from the heart. Set the intention right. Every time you're doing something, think of how it could help the one you care. 

This happened in one of my mundane train trip to work. I was sitting next to a guy. He was playing with his phone. The seat to my left was empty. It was a usual boring morning train. Everyone was with their own things. Some still fighting the sleepiness. Some numbing their existential pain by hearing music with their eyes closed. Others just stares into space.

The train came to a stop. The door opened. An auntie came in and saw the empty seat next to me. She walked towards it to claim the seat. In the transition between standing and sitting, the train suddenly moved. She lost her balance. Then, the unexpected happened.

She sat on my lap. My left thigh to be exact.

She sat for about 1 second or so before slowly turn her head back and discovered that I have become her chair.

She immediately said sorry. But, I didn't respond. I couldn't. I was going into shock. Then, she said sorry again. I mustered whatever that's left of my consciousness and said "it's okay".

Hiking is a pretty popular thing going on around here. This is a city area after all and hiking in the forest is the best way to escape from the hectic life of the concrete jungle. Having that said, I had never been hiking at anywhere at all.

One, is because all of these hiking places are not accessible without own vehicle. You can take Uber and whatnot but the trip back is going to be difficult because not much of these e-hailing dudes will be around.

I am just allured by the beautiful pictures of the scenery. Some of these places offer a nice Instagrammable spot at the end of it. That's a rewarding treat for some. Come to think of it, I think I have hiked before... inside a forest reserve jungle with my bro, uncle and dad. It was an exciting experience.

The trails are uneven. Making it difficult to keep your eyes forward when you make a step. You gotta keep your eyes down on the ground to see where you can put your foot on. It was inside a forest and everything is confusing. Our uncle has taken the path several times so he knows where he's going. There has been news that some people got lost and couldn't find their way out. It was probably a horrifying experience.

When our mom found out, she kinda discouraged us to do that again. So, that was the last time we ever did.

Now that I'm living alone, there isn't much peeps that I can tag along for hiking. All I can do is just read it from others' blogs. Like planning for vacation, the anticipation of it intrigues an excitement that I really enjoy even if I don't actually execute it.

So, here's a list of things/items that I think would be useful in a hike:

• weather check 
• survival bracelet - comes with fire starter, whistle, knife
• first aid kit
• waterproof bag
• water bottle 2L
• get bearing before entering 
• map study
• edible - both snack and plants that are edible (require research)
• tricks to harvest water from the forest
• glove
• set of clothes to change to 

Some places require climbing, hence the glove. That's bout it - a list of item to bring around, things to learn and skills to gain.

When you're wounded, a bandaid could help. That goes the same when it comes with emotional pain. But, that requires a different approach. I've experienced enough pain and most of them come from the expectation generated by my mind. So far, I can say the less you expect, the happier you'll be. Just focus on living the reality and dwell less in the "what if".

Anyways, there are times where it is impossible to avoid stumbling onto occurrences that would bring your happiness level down. That's where emotional bandaid comes into play. It's something that I created to help me get through those hard times.

When I lost a huge part of me, it created a void. It was a pain that I could not withstand. Everyday, I felt like I'm dying. I figured that I probably won't live long with the pain that I'm going through. It sucked big time.

I sought the attention of friends and old friends. I initiated conversation with lots of people from my past as well as new people. Interacting with others help to distract me. For the first time, I called a friend that I've never talked to before. We're online friends by the way. If it's the normal me, I would feel the awkwardness that would forbid me from doing that in the first place. But, at that time, all I could feel was just pain. So I called. We had a long chat. I think I annoyed that friend.

The mind has become dangerous. When I remain idle, unhappy thoughts flood the brain. I couldn't let it consume me. I need to distract my mind with something. When I try to fall asleep, I would listen to some songs. Focusing on the lyrics until I am tired enough to fall asleep.

I also listen to motivational talks. Trying to shift my focus on improving myself. Sometimes, I stumbled upon motivational quotes online. I screenshot some of them. Reading them helps. I even set one favorite quote of mine as wallpaper.

"Believe that everything has a timing", until then, focus on being the best version of yourself. Eat well, take care of personal hygiene. Get that stylish clothing that you always wanted. Look good for yourself.

I also find a lot of distractions. Mostly, watching movies and anime. I immerse my mind into the story and that helps to quiet my mind. I have been doing that for about a month. I abandoned my comic-drawing temporarily because it felt like a chore and I'm not in the mood to create the usual funny comics.

One of the motivational Youtube video that I watched mentioned something about self-affirmation and visualization. Tell something good that will happen and visualize it. That would wire our subconscious to make things happen the way we want it to be.

With that, I try to look forward tomorrow with hope. Something nice that would happen. I anticipated it. Even if it didn't happen tomorrow, it still might happen the next day. I open up and keep noticing for opportunities.

"What is meant to be, will be". I've recently get to know about a news on the breakup of a friend of mine with a partner that has been together for a very long time. If they're really meant to be together, they would be together. Right? Or is it a play of fate and destiny? I would never know. Those are insignificant at this moment. Because right now, I just want to focus on being myself.

Back in uni times, I joined the volleyball team because it's the only sport that is nearest to my hostel. I don't need to travel far. It's just a stone's throw away like literally. I just need to peek through my window curtains to see the volleyball court. But, here's a catch. I don't know anyone there. My introversion don't do much help. Most of the people there already know each other as they're coursemates. It felt like I'm the only stranger there. 

I played but I didn't communicate. I feel like I'm suffocating inside. I couldn't connect with them. You know the term "just be yourself"? I couldn't be myself yet that time. I need to break this awkwardness barrier inside of me. Only then, the true me will be revealed. That's the ultimate form for my unchained soul I guess. To be able to freely express myself without the chain of restrain of awkwardness.

Time heals all wounds. That's quite true in a way. The brain processes the tragedy and eventually, we start to accept what had happened whether we like it or not. It left a scar but we grow. We learn and evolve. Almost two months since the incident now. I can feel that I am getting better. Through this, I learn the things that I enjoy because only in doing those that I enjoy I would truly be in the zone and keep my mind in check.

Going out with close friends help a lot. Because, I can be free and comfortable with them. There's not much sense of awkward moments. Everything is just nice. Contacting old friends help too. I actually talked to a nice friend. That friend bought me a book that might help me. I offered to pay back but nah. That friend insist that it's gonna be a gift. A gift worth sharing. I guess I am obliged to finish it.

At the same time, I am also constructing a list. A list of happy song. There's bout 10 in the list, but I'll continue to expand the list. I need it. There's one particular song that I listen to when I am in the dark. A song from Boku no Hero Academia, You Say Run. It hikes up my fighting spirit.

Anyway, I made a list called "support system" that is split into 3 categories: food, friends and activities. Food consist of consumables that will make me feel good when I eat them. Friends are those that I can interact and hang out with. Activities are those things that I can do that will make me feel good as well.

Here's what I've  listed so far:
Food

• buffet
• soup
• chocolate
• anything I want & within budget at the momoent
• melon ice cream
• make a treat
• white fungus soup

Friends

• bro
• chocomob
• online friends
• colleague
• old friends

Activities

• self-affirmation
• belief
• everything has a timing
• badminton smash (I don't play but I think smashing will feel good) 
• bowling strike
• "hope for the better"
• language pickup
• comicfy stuffs
• videography on next trip
• cooking (something nice)
• running
• plan a trip
• watch favorite Youtube channel
• make happy song list
• list best comfort foods

These are what I have for now. It's enough to keep my mind occupied... I guess. Till next time, take care. List down what works for you because only you will know that.

A lot of us change ourselves because of certain people's critiques and comments. A change caused by other's opinion. Then, there's a bunch of famous saying like "don't care about what other's think"... "those who matter don't mind, those who mind don't matter"... and "just be yourself".

In a lot of ways, nothing is entirely 100% applicable. If you're a jerk, change. Don't be yourself. Be better. Be kind. Nobody likes jerk. But hey, that's up to you. Not gonna judge about that.

Recently, I've been going through some rough times. I have troubled my friends a lot with my problems. I can feel that they are distressed. My inability to manage my emotions well has worried them. It was then, I know I need to move on. I can't weigh them down. I know friends are supposed to be there when you need them. But, that doesn't mean I can keep on dragging them down. It's exhausting.

There are a lot of things not under our control. Sometimes, things happen. Really bad things. Things that take a part of your soul away and left a void. I have reached enough friends. Telling them about the problem and they've filled me in with the support that they can provide. I am grateful for that. Grateful that there are friends willing to be there when I needed them. The void is still there but it's less intense.

My problem was caused by my inability to be myself. I am awkward. Overthink a lot. The past, the future. I can feel restrains on me. Chaining me down. Sometimes, there are things I want to say but I couldn't. I hold it back because of other thought-generated concerns. It held me back. I am suffocating because of that. It wasn't good. And the result of that is what caused this void.

So, how to be yourself? Get rid of awkwardness. Awkwardness is the heaviest chain on me. The reason for that is probably because I couldn't connect to others well. So, I want to change. Connect. Connect. Connect. There are a lot of people around me. Seek that connection.

When I have this desire to connect to other people, my mind automatically finds a way to do that. Awkwardness happens because I don't have a desire to connect. I am just waiting for a stimuli and respond to it. Wanting a connection is the exact opposite. It's the capturing of tiny details and use it to make a proper connection even if it's with a stranger.

Be yourself. You can only truly be that when you get rid of the awkwardness within. And when that happens, you will be comfortable with yourself.

One of my most annoying moment in my life happened in 2015.

It involves being approached by guy who doesn't know he is a born natural creep.


For the sake of duty and fulfilling my responsibilities as a functional adult human being, I was cast away from my homeland and resides on foreign grounds to earn some gold.

I kinda found this place to stay which just happens to be about 1.1 km away from my office.


In case you're wondering about the blue area, that's the poop hot zone. If you want to grab the opportunity to step on dog shiet, that's where you would want to go.

Without sufficient gold to purchase a carriage, it's probably the best place that I could be staying.

The house lead is someone who is quite well-known in the church. Oh, house lead is the guy whom we pay our rental money to, by the way.

If there's any room vacant, he is the one who will be head-hunting the tenants. If there's any complaints or request for facility improvements, he's the one to go to. If there's an escaped zoo lion running loose in the house, he's the one that takes care of it.

Sometimes, the house lead organizes gatherings (cell group) with fellow church members in the living room.

It's a good social event. The perfect hostile environment engineered to pulverize any introverts that have not built up any advanced level of coping mechanism.

I figured that if I did join them, I will finally be a normal human being again because I will have more friends.

But ... nope. Awkwardness is too integrated into my genes.


One day, the house lead sent a message to the Whatsapp group to call for a game of basketball. The group is for the house tenants, so naturally I expected that only the house members will participate.

Wrooongggg!!!!

I was happy and living a peaceful life. My life was secure and stable and I was going to have the very first game of basketball with my housemates and all of a sudden, one by one, house lead's cell group members pops out from everywhere.

Death is always sudden and surprising. When I was in secondary school, two of my classmates passed. One was due to genetic disease another was due to malaria. When I got the news, I was shocked. It was then my breath stopped. I almost fainted.

I always saw people in drama fainted from getting bad news. But, I never really understood how that happened until then. My mind keep playing the moment we interacted with each other. We were enjoying our conversation. It felt just like yesterday. I can't believe they're gone.

Few weeks back, another old colleague passed away due to cancer. I was shocked to receive the news as well because she looked well and okay when I left the job 8 months ago. Wish for their souls to rest in peace.

So, whenever you feel like throwing your life away, ask yourself, have you lived well enough? Anyway, this derived two thoughts. First, is detox week. Detoxing is important as you never know if something is already growing inside your body. I don't want a sudden death because there are several missions in my life that I have yet to complete.

Second, is to think of how I can enjoy my life more. Let's give that a thought. I haven't really figured out the second part yet.