The day we feasted like pigs! It was one Saturday afternoon when I texted my bro if he wanted to eat dinner together. The same question appeared every time.

Trying new stuff can be daunting. We can be so comfortable with the chicken rice store that we always go to. But, after days and months of eating that, it can be boring.

March is an amazing month. I had a new mission of driving all the way to Ipoh for a company event. It was my first long distance drive. I wasn't sure of what to prepare.

I never thought of wearing a bracelet because it feels like a hindrance. Heck, I don't even wea a watch. I dislike how that part of my skin which is in contact with the watch would sweat.

This is probably the best month of the year by far. Because I get to fly back hometown and enjoy some lazy days with my family. The trip back home was better than usual because I timed it with my bro. So, the long 4 - 5 hours trip was not that boring and sucky.

This is a journal noting down on the good things that happen within the month. It can be little things but that's alright because big things are made of little things. In life, there's ups and downs. That's the seasoning of life. I'll just put in the good ones here because it would help me feel better when I read back... hopefully.

But, wait! Writing about January stuffs when it's about the mid of April now? "You must have superior memory that surpass the average human minds!" You probably wondered this. Or not. It's okay. I would like to imagine some people would thought of that because at the end of the day, I just want to feel like a super hero sometimes. *teary eyes

I have this handy dandy phone that have been with me for around 4 years now. It has sustained many falls, bruises and scratches. Yet it still works fine. Kinda ... it had a great fall in March and I had to bring it to fix. Anyway, I always write notes in it. That's how I keep record of things I wanna draw or write.


People like to setup new year's resolution but not me. I made some lists. I made a wish list of things that I want to buy to reward myself. The things also must fulfill two criteria. First, it must be useful. No fancy items like a toy mask or things that I would rarely use. Second, it must be at the best price. Sometimes, non-branded item works better than branded ones. For example, sports shoes. I bought a branded one but the base tore apart. The padding came off, revealing the vulnerable cushion side of the base. It was horrifying. Maybe it's not original? I don't know. Paid about RM120 for it while it's on sale. With the same price, I can buy 3 not so popular branded sports shoes.

Anyway, I learnt to buy shoes that doesn't have paddings on the base because that part will certainly come off first. I think this has been a thing going on the industry. A lot more designers realized that and a lot of shoes sold out there don't have any paddings anymore. Just a single threaded foam that would wear with more uses. It's the best the world has to offer with current technology I guess.

I also made a bucket list that lists down what I wanted to do. One of them is getting 50k followers on Instagram. There's also other stuffs like try more new food, have more short trips... These are just planned things that I wanna do for this year. It's good to have goals and measurable at that.

On this month, I received a letter from the company announcing my increment. It's just 3%. Kinda low. I consulted Gina on this and she said that it's normal. Better than nothing. I guess so. It's a new field for me after all. My previous IT job could give 6% and more. So, it's like that huh...

Then, there's approval of Adsense for this website. Though it's earning like 0 at this moment but it opens up to new doors. It's extra monetization means!

I also managed to cross off one item from the bucket list - celebrate by eating nice stuffs at least at 3 places. So far, I've been to a night market with my bro. The food there is not cheap at all. But, it's a new try. It was raining when we arrived so we waited in the car. Then the rain slows down to a drizzle. That's when we start storming the place with our umbrella. There's very huge chunks of roast pork, fresh seafood, produce and food. We bought chicken dim sum (not so good), take away noodles (RM 7+ which is quite pricy), bottled guava drink (no added sugar, healthy but guava is rarely sweet so you can guess how it tastes like), dumpling (for breakfast), bananas, jackfruit ... that's all I could remember. We also ate at EatMor, an all-you-can-eat steamboat buffet restaurant. We ate as much as we could. It has huge variety of option but it isn't exactly perfect. The crabs aren't fresh. They don't have the natural sweetness to it. The minced garlic has a rotten smell probably coz soaked in water for too long. My bro highlighted that to one of their staffs and they replaced the whole garlic bowl. We also tried a pork bone broth restaurant. It was very flavorful. I like the herbal soup taste. It ain't cheap but it's a good treat to have once a while. That's three good eats within a month. That's like way too much and over because I was thinking to have separate sessions of it which is spread out through the entire year. Oh well, I enjoyed it. That's what matters.

Started a mini project which I have yet to finish because lack of time and motivation that fuels it. But, I started it. That's the first step! It's about making short animated stickers for Giphy. I find it hard to be creative on this because it has to be something that people can use to express about something. It's a new thing to me but no rush. I'll get it done!

For my baby car, it always get pooped on. So, I made a simple car wash liquid using dish soap and baking soda. I'm not sure how it would be like if used long term. There's warning that certain brand might harm the car's paint. But, it's just a trial for me. I need it to wash the car sometimes when there's like stubborn poop stain on it. There are very sucky animals out there that violently poops on people's car. Anyway, I made a small bottle of it and keep it in the trunk. I use it to wash the car sometimes when it's unbearable to see how many poop stains there are. Besides, I want to get them while it's fresh because it gets harder to remove as they become more solid as time passes.

It's a good month overall.

My colleague friend treated me mangoes. It was so yummy. He had a few slices in a zipper bag. Because he understood that it's a bit troublesome to wash hands and he didn't had toothpick with him at that time yet he still wanted to treat me. So, he push a slice out from the opening of the zipper bag and I had to bite it with my face a few inches away from his hands. It was romantic.

Bromance. Don't get it wrong!

So, I was exploring hand lettering one day and I really like them. Here's some animals recreated with the alphabetical letters that make them up! You can also find their merch's here. 

They come back as zombies! So, never waste food! I made these to practice my drawing skills. I also posted it on here- if you would like some merchs :)

I draw comics and also create designs! Here's some of the practices I made when I first started to learn Illustrator.

2018 has been an amazing year! There's mix of amazing things I've been through and also the dark side of it. But, I'll be writing the good things only because positive vibe only. I'll be breaking down the highlights according to month. Not all months are filled with adventures and missions because there's work demand in certain periods. Anyway, let's see how 2018 was like:

January - This is the month of lost. I have been freelancing for some time and I thought I should get a proper job with my freelancing experiences. This is where I learn to handle rejection and not to dwell in it.

February - Went for more job interviews. Learnt the different patterns of employers and their ideologies on their company. There's some things I can see that I want in my employer and developing poor company culture is not one of them.


March - Got a new job in graphic design after being rejected in other 5 job applications. First step of changing my whole life.


April - I've been focusing on this job and enjoyed the security that a job provides.

May - Doing nothing new here. Perhaps, I got too comfortable with my job?

June - Malacca trip! Went there with my buddy, Mob. We walked a lot and he has been complaining that his legs hurt. Mine are still fine. This show that I have better stamina! But, my neck hurts. Need to improve on my posture.


July - Made my first travel video from the trip. Managed to insert some video transitions in there. Looking good all the way. Also, reached 10k followers on Instagram for Za'chomics. Wohoo! I also bought mud crab to eat as well because I'm craving for them. But, it doesn't taste good. One of the claws are too hard to break and we don't exactly have a hammer for that. So, we had to throw it away.

August - Started bursting night run. I can run for 7 to 8 laps continuously. I can only do 2 laps before. I probably can go more laps if I push it but I don't want to exceed the 45 time limit. I got other things to do!

September - My birthday month! Bro got me a sports shirt which is something that I always wanted.

October - The company has celebration going on and I have to prepare a lot of artworks to be printed and displayed. There was one Saturday, we have to go and work from 5 pm till 1 am. Luckily there's still e-hauling car services that I can rely on. If not, I'll have to stay there till the event day which is the very next morning of it. And, I'll look like a panda.


November - Right after the company's celebration, there's the new launch of another company. There's more work to be done and I have been too busy to do anything on my personal projects. But, it's fine. Despite the business of October and November, I do enjoy it. I have a bunch of colleagues that I can make jokes and laugh with even when we're all stressed out.

December - My car finally arrived! My baby! I learn some stuffs about the car on how to make use it and make things better. I'm thought of a list of things to be put into the car. I also have been thinking some DIY things to make because I want to make full use of the minimal space that I have and I don't see anything in the market that could satisfy my requirements. Oh, there's also about the pendrive thingy. It wasn't playing when I plugged it in before coz turns out you need to format it as exFat before putting your music files in.

2018 has been a good year all in all. There's some setbacks at some point but every bad thing that you've gone through has lessons to it. It makes me stronger for 2019. I'm excited to plan and execute what I'll be doing this year.

It was in plan for quite a while now and it finally has arrived! Galloping through the seven seas, a bright red stallion stormed its way through the vast plains to arrive into my embrace.

I've been trying to get a car since July this year but there were hurdles to leap over - the factory dashboard mould was said to be damaged and had to take over a month to get it fixed. Then, there's the misunderstanding with the bank agent. He called me asking for more details on the loan which I thought was someone who randomly called to ask if I applied loan recently. And those, add up to the months of period of delay. But, it was no rush.

I have to be honest. I was nervous at first because I am driving auto on unfamiliar territories. I used to drive manual. Auto is foreign for me. I went out with my bro to retrieve the steed yesterday. As we tried to drive out, we tried to shift the gear but the stick won't budge. We used our wits and prayers to try to get it move. It was solid as a rock.

My bro waved his hand towards the sales agent. He came and asked what's wrong. We had to let go of our pride and inquire the necessary information from him. That got it settled. We waved goodbye to him and out onto the next stage! Like a rabbit released into the wild, we galloped our way and never looked back! Mostly due to embarrassment earlier.

**This blog is taking a new direction! Journal!
A while back... like way back, this friend of mine, Eva had this thingy with journal. She takes photos and prints them out. Then, she compiles it in a physical journal. There's writings and drawings all over. It was nice!

I created this comic series because I wanted to show people how to care. It mostly involves doing the small things. They may be simple but not everyone could do it. It has to start from the heart. Set the intention right. Every time you're doing something, think of how it could help the one you care. 

This happened in one of my mundane train trip to work. I was sitting next to a guy. He was playing with his phone. The seat to my left was empty. It was a usual boring morning train. Everyone was with their own things. Some still fighting the sleepiness. Some numbing their existential pain by hearing music with their eyes closed. Others just stares into space.

The train came to a stop. The door opened. An auntie came in and saw the empty seat next to me. She walked towards it to claim the seat. In the transition between standing and sitting, the train suddenly moved. She lost her balance. Then, the unexpected happened.

She sat on my lap. My left thigh to be exact.

She sat for about 1 second or so before slowly turn her head back and discovered that I have become her chair.

She immediately said sorry. But, I didn't respond. I couldn't. I was going into shock. Then, she said sorry again. I mustered whatever that's left of my consciousness and said "it's okay".

Hiking is a pretty popular thing going on around here. This is a city area after all and hiking in the forest is the best way to escape from the hectic life of the concrete jungle. Having that said, I had never been hiking at anywhere at all.

One, is because all of these hiking places are not accessible without own vehicle. You can take Uber and whatnot but the trip back is going to be difficult because not much of these e-hailing dudes will be around.

I am just allured by the beautiful pictures of the scenery. Some of these places offer a nice Instagrammable spot at the end of it. That's a rewarding treat for some. Come to think of it, I think I have hiked before... inside a forest reserve jungle with my bro, uncle and dad. It was an exciting experience.

The trails are uneven. Making it difficult to keep your eyes forward when you make a step. You gotta keep your eyes down on the ground to see where you can put your foot on. It was inside a forest and everything is confusing. Our uncle has taken the path several times so he knows where he's going. There has been news that some people got lost and couldn't find their way out. It was probably a horrifying experience.

When our mom found out, she kinda discouraged us to do that again. So, that was the last time we ever did.

Now that I'm living alone, there isn't much peeps that I can tag along for hiking. All I can do is just read it from others' blogs. Like planning for vacation, the anticipation of it intrigues an excitement that I really enjoy even if I don't actually execute it.

So, here's a list of things/items that I think would be useful in a hike:

• weather check 
• survival bracelet - comes with fire starter, whistle, knife
• first aid kit
• waterproof bag
• water bottle 2L
• get bearing before entering 
• map study
• edible - both snack and plants that are edible (require research)
• tricks to harvest water from the forest
• glove
• set of clothes to change to 

Some places require climbing, hence the glove. That's bout it - a list of item to bring around, things to learn and skills to gain.

When you're wounded, a bandaid could help. That goes the same when it comes with emotional pain. But, that requires a different approach. I've experienced enough pain and most of them come from the expectation generated by my mind. So far, I can say the less you expect, the happier you'll be. Just focus on living the reality and dwell less in the "what if".

Anyways, there are times where it is impossible to avoid stumbling onto occurrences that would bring your happiness level down. That's where emotional bandaid comes into play. It's something that I created to help me get through those hard times.

When I lost a huge part of me, it created a void. It was a pain that I could not withstand. Everyday, I felt like I'm dying. I figured that I probably won't live long with the pain that I'm going through. It sucked big time.

I sought the attention of friends and old friends. I initiated conversation with lots of people from my past as well as new people. Interacting with others help to distract me. For the first time, I called a friend that I've never talked to before. We're online friends by the way. If it's the normal me, I would feel the awkwardness that would forbid me from doing that in the first place. But, at that time, all I could feel was just pain. So I called. We had a long chat. I think I annoyed that friend.

The mind has become dangerous. When I remain idle, unhappy thoughts flood the brain. I couldn't let it consume me. I need to distract my mind with something. When I try to fall asleep, I would listen to some songs. Focusing on the lyrics until I am tired enough to fall asleep.

I also listen to motivational talks. Trying to shift my focus on improving myself. Sometimes, I stumbled upon motivational quotes online. I screenshot some of them. Reading them helps. I even set one favorite quote of mine as wallpaper.

"Believe that everything has a timing", until then, focus on being the best version of yourself. Eat well, take care of personal hygiene. Get that stylish clothing that you always wanted. Look good for yourself.

I also find a lot of distractions. Mostly, watching movies and anime. I immerse my mind into the story and that helps to quiet my mind. I have been doing that for about a month. I abandoned my comic-drawing temporarily because it felt like a chore and I'm not in the mood to create the usual funny comics.

One of the motivational Youtube video that I watched mentioned something about self-affirmation and visualization. Tell something good that will happen and visualize it. That would wire our subconscious to make things happen the way we want it to be.

With that, I try to look forward tomorrow with hope. Something nice that would happen. I anticipated it. Even if it didn't happen tomorrow, it still might happen the next day. I open up and keep noticing for opportunities.

"What is meant to be, will be". I've recently get to know about a news on the breakup of a friend of mine with a partner that has been together for a very long time. If they're really meant to be together, they would be together. Right? Or is it a play of fate and destiny? I would never know. Those are insignificant at this moment. Because right now, I just want to focus on being myself.

Back in uni times, I joined the volleyball team because it's the only sport that is nearest to my hostel. I don't need to travel far. It's just a stone's throw away like literally. I just need to peek through my window curtains to see the volleyball court. But, here's a catch. I don't know anyone there. My introversion don't do much help. Most of the people there already know each other as they're coursemates. It felt like I'm the only stranger there. 

I played but I didn't communicate. I feel like I'm suffocating inside. I couldn't connect with them. You know the term "just be yourself"? I couldn't be myself yet that time. I need to break this awkwardness barrier inside of me. Only then, the true me will be revealed. That's the ultimate form for my unchained soul I guess. To be able to freely express myself without the chain of restrain of awkwardness.

Time heals all wounds. That's quite true in a way. The brain processes the tragedy and eventually, we start to accept what had happened whether we like it or not. It left a scar but we grow. We learn and evolve. Almost two months since the incident now. I can feel that I am getting better. Through this, I learn the things that I enjoy because only in doing those that I enjoy I would truly be in the zone and keep my mind in check.

Going out with close friends help a lot. Because, I can be free and comfortable with them. There's not much sense of awkward moments. Everything is just nice. Contacting old friends help too. I actually talked to a nice friend. That friend bought me a book that might help me. I offered to pay back but nah. That friend insist that it's gonna be a gift. A gift worth sharing. I guess I am obliged to finish it.

At the same time, I am also constructing a list. A list of happy song. There's bout 10 in the list, but I'll continue to expand the list. I need it. There's one particular song that I listen to when I am in the dark. A song from Boku no Hero Academia, You Say Run. It hikes up my fighting spirit.

Anyway, I made a list called "support system" that is split into 3 categories: food, friends and activities. Food consist of consumables that will make me feel good when I eat them. Friends are those that I can interact and hang out with. Activities are those things that I can do that will make me feel good as well.

Here's what I've  listed so far:
Food

• buffet
• soup
• chocolate
• anything I want & within budget at the momoent
• melon ice cream
• make a treat
• white fungus soup

Friends

• bro
• chocomob
• online friends
• colleague
• old friends

Activities

• self-affirmation
• belief
• everything has a timing
• badminton smash (I don't play but I think smashing will feel good) 
• bowling strike
• "hope for the better"
• language pickup
• comicfy stuffs
• videography on next trip
• cooking (something nice)
• running
• plan a trip
• watch favorite Youtube channel
• make happy song list
• list best comfort foods

These are what I have for now. It's enough to keep my mind occupied... I guess. Till next time, take care. List down what works for you because only you will know that.

A lot of us change ourselves because of certain people's critiques and comments. A change caused by other's opinion. Then, there's a bunch of famous saying like "don't care about what other's think"... "those who matter don't mind, those who mind don't matter"... and "just be yourself".

In a lot of ways, nothing is entirely 100% applicable. If you're a jerk, change. Don't be yourself. Be better. Be kind. Nobody likes jerk. But hey, that's up to you. Not gonna judge about that.

Recently, I've been going through some rough times. I have troubled my friends a lot with my problems. I can feel that they are distressed. My inability to manage my emotions well has worried them. It was then, I know I need to move on. I can't weigh them down. I know friends are supposed to be there when you need them. But, that doesn't mean I can keep on dragging them down. It's exhausting.

There are a lot of things not under our control. Sometimes, things happen. Really bad things. Things that take a part of your soul away and left a void. I have reached enough friends. Telling them about the problem and they've filled me in with the support that they can provide. I am grateful for that. Grateful that there are friends willing to be there when I needed them. The void is still there but it's less intense.

My problem was caused by my inability to be myself. I am awkward. Overthink a lot. The past, the future. I can feel restrains on me. Chaining me down. Sometimes, there are things I want to say but I couldn't. I hold it back because of other thought-generated concerns. It held me back. I am suffocating because of that. It wasn't good. And the result of that is what caused this void.

So, how to be yourself? Get rid of awkwardness. Awkwardness is the heaviest chain on me. The reason for that is probably because I couldn't connect to others well. So, I want to change. Connect. Connect. Connect. There are a lot of people around me. Seek that connection.

When I have this desire to connect to other people, my mind automatically finds a way to do that. Awkwardness happens because I don't have a desire to connect. I am just waiting for a stimuli and respond to it. Wanting a connection is the exact opposite. It's the capturing of tiny details and use it to make a proper connection even if it's with a stranger.

Be yourself. You can only truly be that when you get rid of the awkwardness within. And when that happens, you will be comfortable with yourself.

One of my most annoying moment in my life happened in 2015.

It involves being approached by guy who doesn't know he is a born natural creep.


For the sake of duty and fulfilling my responsibilities as a functional adult human being, I was cast away from my homeland and resides on foreign grounds to earn some gold.

I kinda found this place to stay which just happens to be about 1.1 km away from my office.


In case you're wondering about the blue area, that's the poop hot zone. If you want to grab the opportunity to step on dog shiet, that's where you would want to go.

Without sufficient gold to purchase a carriage, it's probably the best place that I could be staying.

The house lead is someone who is quite well-known in the church. Oh, house lead is the guy whom we pay our rental money to, by the way.

If there's any room vacant, he is the one who will be head-hunting the tenants. If there's any complaints or request for facility improvements, he's the one to go to. If there's an escaped zoo lion running loose in the house, he's the one that takes care of it.

Sometimes, the house lead organizes gatherings (cell group) with fellow church members in the living room.

It's a good social event. The perfect hostile environment engineered to pulverize any introverts that have not built up any advanced level of coping mechanism.

I figured that if I did join them, I will finally be a normal human being again because I will have more friends.

But ... nope. Awkwardness is too integrated into my genes.


One day, the house lead sent a message to the Whatsapp group to call for a game of basketball. The group is for the house tenants, so naturally I expected that only the house members will participate.

Wrooongggg!!!!

I was happy and living a peaceful life. My life was secure and stable and I was going to have the very first game of basketball with my housemates and all of a sudden, one by one, house lead's cell group members pops out from everywhere.